I decided to start this blog because I needed accountability for MYSELF. I feel I have lost my way after my daughter left for the military and can't find my way back. I feel lost with my purpose in life and don't feel like I'm a 'mom' anymore. I spend tons of time reading other people's blogs-why not create my own? I've wanted to do it for so long, but always put it off because WHAT.IF.I.FAIL? I'm coming to realize that all the successful people that I admire have failed along the way-but kept going! So that's what I'm telling myself.
A little about my background...it can't be summed up in a short blog post. I will have to divulge more and more about myself over time. But basically, here's the short of it. Grew up in a home with abuse, drugs, and alcohol. Near poverty. Always a little chubby. Have struggled with depression and overeating my whole life. Have developed some medical problems over the past few years. After 2 years of college, I joined the military-was told at my first weigh in that I was OBESE (5'4''-150 lbs...definitely not obese, but overweight). Became a mom and was determined, for some reason, to not keep all the 'baby weight' after giving birth, which began my love of running and weight training. Had 2 children, became fit after both. Went through an abusive marriage and running saved my life. It was my outlet. Finally got out of the marriage and went through ups and downs with my weight and eating. I went through periods of not working out, eating horribly, then working out, eating right and getting in shape. It's been a rollercoaster ride. About 2 years ago, I ended up joining Weight Watchers after an Aunt was very successful with it. I too, became successful. A while before my daughter decided to join the military she needed to get in shape. She started weight training and tracking her macros. I was weight training with her and began tracking macros. Again, I got super fit. Then she left for the military and my world fell apart. We have a super close relationship and I spiraled into depression and lost all of my hard work. I still have a son living at home who is going to college and I feel like I failed him as well because I was not being the mom I should be.
I finally feel like I can 'see the light' and I have a lot of plans for my upcoming future and hopefully recovering from all of this. I want to make lifetime decisions now and implement only things I know I will truly do for the rest of my life.
